I have a deep interest in the art of ritualcraft: writing one's own prayers, liturgies, and rituals. I love the challenge of balancing the roots of tradition with the new leaves of our individual needs, desires, and conceptions of the sacred. Over the last several years I've been blessed with the opportunity to do ritualcraft work. That work takes three primary forms: writing new prayers and liturgies for synagogue use, writing holiday rituals for home use, and writing custom-designed lifecycle events. Some prayer variations and home-based rituals are available in the ritual archive; so are the ceremonies for the lifecycle events discussed below.
I love the work of helping people craft liturgical and lifecycle events which are customized to their needs, and I love helping them speak words that change their lives. What could be more satisfying to a poet than this proof that language really is transformative?
Baby-namings
There's something especially fun about baby-naming/welcoming ceremonies. They're our chance to offer blessings at the start of someone's life, and to officially welcome her into her (or his) family, tradition(s), and world.
Naming ceremonies do several things. They bring together family and friends to celebrate the birth of a new child; they enable parents to officially give the baby her or his names, and to speak about the meaning of those names; they give everyone present the chance to offer wishes, hopes, and blessings for the baby's life. Like all good rituals, they need to balance solemnity with laughter. Different families will want different things out of a baby-naming ceremony; you might want songs, prayers, readings, poems, audience participation activities. You might want to carry the baby around the circle so everyone can lay on hands to bless him or her; you might want to ask everyone to bring a bead, and string them together into a looped teething ring or necklace. You might want a ceremony that calls on Jewish tradition, or one that reflects a baby's dual heritages, or one that connects with earth-centered spirituality. (Examples of all three are in the ritual archive.)
I will work with you on figuring out what tone you want your baby-naming to have, I'll talk with you about what you want out of the ceremony, and then I'll provide a first draft of the ceremony for your commentary. I'm happy to revise it as many times as necessary until you're absolutely thrilled with it! If you live in New England, I'll come to you and officiate; if you live further away than is reasonable to travel, you can find a local officiant or do the service yourself. I have on occasion travelled a great distance to perform ceremonies (I did a baby-naming in Kansas City a few years back), but it usually requires airfare; let me know if you want to discuss that.
B'nai mitzvah
Contrary to the common pop-culture presumption, becoming b'nai mitzvah is a tremendously significant (and potentially very beautiful) rite of passage in the lives of Jewish adolescents and their families. It is my pleasure to help midwife that experience into being.
I have the privilege of assisting in the b'nai mitzvah program at Congregation Beth Israel. I was honored to spend 2006-2007 working with my niece on a customized curriculum which culminated in a mincha/ma'ariv/havdalah service. (The siddur is available for download here.) I'm open to working with adult or adolescent b'nai mitzvah students in my region; let me know if that interests you.
Weddings
Weddings are important turning-points in our lives, and deserve to be marked with meaningful and joyful ceremony. As with the other rituals I do, I work hard to divine what a couple wants and needs, and to craft something that is simultaneously a unique reflection of the couple in question and universal enough to be recognizably connected with their tradition(s). A wedding is a bridge between two people; it's also a connection between their two families, and sometimes two worlds, two cultures, or two faiths.
I bring to the table familiarity with a range of wedding rituals, a wide repertoire of poems and readings and stories, and deep joy in the process and the transformations it makes possible. I ask the couples I marry to meet with me several times, to talk about their wedding needs and more importantly to talk about the arc of their lives above and beyond the wedding.
Working with interfaith couples is one of my callings. I feel strongly that if a couple seeks a Jewish presence at their wedding, Judaism should and must greet them with open arms and a willingness to engage in dialogue. I understand the unique challenges that interfaith couples face; I can work with you to develop the ability to talk through difficult issues, and I can offer a wedding ceremony that reflects you. I consider it part of my work to ensure that every interfaith couple I meet is greeted with an open heart.
I'm also delighted to work with the GLBT community on crafting commitment ceremonies, civil union ceremonies, and -- here in my fine state -- wedding ceremonies.
Please note that in most states I cannot legally join two people in marriage. (In Massachusetts I can solemnize one marriage per calendar year; other states have varying statues regarding laypeople officiating at weddings.) I am happy to discuss options with you, including but not limited to co-officiating with other clergy/judges/justices of the peace, performing your religious ceremony either before or after your civil ceremony, and crafting a ceremony for you which could be used by another officiant.
Funerals
If you live in the Berkshire region and lose a loved one, I am willing and able to officiate at a memorial service (in a synagogue, funeral home, or private residence) and/or a graveside service. The standard Jewish funeral service is brief; I can augment it with additional readings, or not, as you prefer.
I will want to meet with you and your family as soon as possible to learn about the person who has died, in order to write the hesped (eulogy); at that time I'll do my best to answer any questions you may have, and to bear witness to your loss with my presence.